What’s On Your Wedding Band?

This site gives you some examples of the engravings they’ve done inside people’s wedding bands. Some very tender, heartfelt and romantic. Others - probably special in their own way. And some almost seem passive aggressive (but in the way that’s cute at first but 6 years later, more of the aggressive starts to shine through)

• You wore me down - Not even an attempt at sweetness or romance, just a, “Fine, you win.”
• Tricky little love machine - Maybe a step too far.  You could have just put “You are a tough one to satisfy in the sack, but we worked at it and finally got the job done.”  But that would’ve had to have been a pretty large ring.
• Better Than Ice Cream - But that inscription? Worse than a trip to the dentist.
• You’re an amazing sales rep - Just bad, even if it’s a lame joke about selling her on you; worse if you really were ‘Sales Rep of the Month.’
• Happy Now? Good. - See “You wore me down.”
• Remember, I’m a Wyoming Redneck - Hide your sheep.
• Amateurs hope, professionals work. - This guy must work at the company that makes those horrible inspirational posters that go in offices, and should be shot.
• Race you to the shower - Slightly better than “Get me a beer. I’ll time you.”

• Put me back on! - Worried about losing the ring, or begging one to put it back on before he/she comes home from a night of being “single”?
• Thanks for waiting. Dork! - “Dork” seems rude. But if it turns out to be the guys name then, well, life can be cruel, Mrs. Dork.
• My noose - Did this person add this to their own ring?
• wuv woo wots, sweetie - Way way way way way way gay. No matter whose ring it’s on.
• Better than Bacon - Kevin Bacon?
• I love you like a fat kid loves cake- (Diabetically?) Ok, this is sweet, I guess.  A simple “I love you” is good too.
• Resistance is Futile - So is this attempt at humor.
• Bonham to Denver, maybe forever - Really? Keyword: ”maybe.”  This one has two years. Tops.
• Rump shaker- Ok, I like it. Timeless. Classic. - Bonus: There’s no way your grandkids will have any clue what this refers to.
• I do I do I do love green eggs and ham- Just too weird. And odd. And too Seussian and kinda confusing. Is this one of those double entendres I don’t know about yet? If I google it, will I seriously regret that decision? Will it inevitably lead me to meeting Chris Hanson from Dateline?
• I’m gonna buy you so many lizards - Threat or a promise?
• His: Frankenstein Hers: Bride of Frankenstein - Is this some sort of fetish for you?
• I love you more than ketchup - Big words coming from Theresa Heinz Kerry.
• Mother Butter lovesButter Daddy - Huh? And…Gross?
• If found, keep man, return ring- If read, fake laughter, find new friend.
• Cruisin Together 6 June 2002- “Cruisin” was the better pick after considering, ‘Jammin,’ ‘rockin,’ ‘rolling,’ ’sham-a-lamin’, ’shakin,’ ‘barfin,’ ’shatin,’ ‘bitchin,’ ‘belchin,’ ‘pootin,’ ‘wiggin,’ ’shankin,’ ‘limpin,’ ‘wankin,’ ‘fryin,’ ‘zeppin,’ and finally, ‘jellin.’  They may have made the right choice.
• Yes, I still love you- I do like this one, because it works way, way, way down the road. Odds are though, they won’t be together then.
• We are…Penn State - You are out of college.  You are out of college.  You are out of college.  Keep repeating until you understand.  Grow up.
• Red Light, Sweetie - I feel for you brother, but you picked her.
• Not for pawning - Short, sweet and to the point. We can totally get behind this one. Until the divorce. Then we’re on her side.

In the end, we feel like ring inscriptions are like tattoos; think long and hard before committing; odds are you’ll regret it later. When you get married presumably you believe it’s to death do you part. At 22, you gotta believe that you’ll be entirely different than you will be at 34, 42, or 57. And that cute idea may not seem so cute anymore. Of course, we always support individualism, personal identity and creativity. But we also know more than one person who regrets a tattoo.