Week’s End Update – Your Headlines

Lonely Planet travel writer admits to not setting foot in country he wrote about – That clears up the confusion over the whole of Colombia being described as surprisingly similar to a one bedroom apartment in San Francisco. 

Heather MIlls plans to move to America - In the end it’s only fair as Courtney Love plans to move to the UK, so the ‘Super-Nutball-Crazy Scales’ remain in balance.

Scientists have discovered molecule sized switch that will allow mp3 players to hold millions of songs. – Finally I can get all of Chicago’s back catalogue onto one ipod!

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Week’s End Update – Your Headlines

Seventy-two Australian scuba divers set new record for under-water ironing. – Proving 72 Australians desperately in need of Tivo. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Babies born in the summer proved most likely to be short sighted. – Those babies never think of their retirement funds. Hope you marry a Sagittarius, babies!

Former publisher of Maxim magazine admits to pushing love rival off cliff to his death – Drunk at the time of the interview, he later recanted, claiming he’d gotten his memories confused with an old episodic children’s program involving a very crafty coyote and some Acme products.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man gets divorced by 2 women on the same day- It’s called getting Utah’d and it’s not half as hot as it sounds.

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Week’s End Update – Your Headlines

Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence says Tara Reid reeked of booze and cigarettes - In her defence, Reid claims that booze and cigarettes were the only thing that could mask the overwhelming stench of abject failure and total shamefaced disgrace.

China set to unblock “Great Firewall” during Bejing Olympics- Millions of Chinese have two weeks to google search how Westerners get rid of all their unwanted female children.

Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting makeup from a CVS. – Her excuse last time was she was “researching a role,” this time she claimed she “didn’t know how that got there,” once she blows through “holding it for a friend,” expect the next excuse to invole either magnets or tiny little men in her pockets. – But seriously, isn’t the real story here that Winona uses drugstore cosmetics? Doesn’t she have any celeb-u-status left to score some high-end serious swag?

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