Week’s End Update – Your Headlines

Lonely Planet travel writer admits to not setting foot in country he wrote about – That clears up the confusion over the whole of Colombia being described as surprisingly similar to a one bedroom apartment in San Francisco. 

Heather MIlls plans to move to America - In the end it’s only fair as Courtney Love plans to move to the UK, so the ‘Super-Nutball-Crazy Scales’ remain in balance.

Scientists have discovered molecule sized switch that will allow mp3 players to hold millions of songs. – Finally I can get all of Chicago’s back catalogue onto one ipod!

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News of the Week

Sign up for retribution! 

 

If you bought Airborne to keep all the germies out pre-flight, there may be a piece of the big settlement pie waiting for you. They’re on the hook for false advertising because maybe they didn’t do any testing involving actual doctors. But what does that matter? The product itself was invented by an elementary school teacher so, it was probably never based on real science (at least not any that involved science above a 2nd grade level).

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Since the Writer’s Strike is Officially Over

The Daily Show and the Colbert Report will be funny again as early as TO-DAY!

The comedies like MyName is Earl, The Office and 30 Rock will probably do 6-8 new episodes airing at the end of March or April. SNL will return Feb 23. Dramas will take longer and only the established ones will return. No new Life, Pushing Daisies, or Chuck until the fall.

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Ahhh. Good Old Fashioned Sibling Rivalry.

In the “I want to be famous too!” category: Britney Spear’s 16 year old sister is pregnant.

The competition is heating up, y’all. I seem to remember a gum-smacking Britney telling Matt Lauer she was poor white trash. Don’t worry, honey, we believe you. You can stop trying so hard now. You can put the gunrack back in the trailor. Every last one of us is convinced.

I do wonder whether Nickolodeon will still think Jamie-Lynn Spears, now an unwed teen mommy, is still a good role model for kids. Maybe they should rethink her contract on Zooey 101. No?

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Texas-sized Garbage Island- Your Subtelty Isn’t Lost On Me.

We’ve all heard the rumors of the Texas sized (or twice the size of Texas, depending on who’s reportage you’re listening to) pile of trash floating in the Pacific. The scuttlebutt is that it is hanging out somewhere between San Francisco and Hawaii; How come there are no pictures of it? I would think it would be visible from some satellite. Or that Google Earth would be able to come up with something to slake the public’s thirst for knowledge.

(EDIT: See link below).

It is rumored to be between three feet and three or four hundred feet thick in different areas. Is all this submerged underwater? Is there no bit of it popping it’s little head though the surface of the,  sea?

And don’t think I don’t appreciate the fact that no matter how big it is, the pile of crap is always comparable to Texas. Your constant subliminal linking of the two is not lost on me.

Check it out!

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