Man, I Don’t Know My Presidents #27 William Howard Taft

William Howard Taft

1909-1913

Nicked Names

• Old Bill
• Big Lub
• FattyFatty 2×4 Can’t Fit Thru The Bathroom Door
• The 27th President, 10th Chief Justice of US Supreme Court, 1st Provisional Governor of Cuba, 42nd US Secretary of War, 1st Civil Governor of the Philippines, 5th US Solicitor General, 1st in line at a buffet

Taft is really the president that ought to be known as the Trustbuster. He busted over 80, beating that so-called buster (Teddy ‘Not as Busted’ Roosevelt) by about 40. Taft just didn’t happen to rail against business in his rhetoric. That’s right Taft is twice the buster TR ever was, suckas!

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Man, I Don’t Know My Presidents Monday #25 William McKinley

William McKinley

Served 1897-1901

• The Napolean of Protection (For his love of tariffs)
• The Major (referring to his rank in the Civil War; used by intimates and family, not publically)
• The Idol of Ohio
• The Stocking-footed Orator (Cute!)

 

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M,IDKMPM #21 Chester A. Arthur

Chester A. Arthur

Sept 19, 1881 – March 4, 1885

 

 

• Elegant Arthur
• The Gentleman Boss
• The Dude President (Inspiration for the “Big Lebowski”)
• Our Chet

                                  

 

Arthir was chosen by Garfield to be his running mate at the 1880 Republican National Convention because he was a stalwart (the support of which Garfield did not have) and Garfield knew the vote would be close. In some ways this was to be his undoing since Charles Guiteau shot Garfield saying “I am a Stalwart of the Stalwarts…Arthur is president now!!” Arthur was shocked by the assassination and mortified of Guiteau’s claim of political unity.

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MIDKMPM, Rutherford B. Hayes

 Rutherford B Hayes

1877-1881

NICKNAMES:

• Rutherfraud
• His Fraudulancy
• The Usurper
• Granny Hayes
• Queen Victoria in Riding Britches
• The Great Unknown
• President de Facto
• Dark Horse Prsident

[Is that a reconstructed nation in your beard or are you just a scary old dude?]

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Man I Don’t Know My Presidents Monday #16 Abraham Lincoln

Abraham Lincoln

(1861-1865)

• Honest Abe
• The Great Emancipator
• The Floatboatman
• The Rail Splitter
• The Sage of Springfield
• The Abolition Emperor or King Linkum the First
• The Uncommon Friend of the Common Man
• The Original Gorilla and The Orangutan in the White House
• The Sectional President

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Man, I Don’t Know My Presidents #13

Millard Fillmore

July 1850- March 1853

• The Accidental President
• Wool-Carder-President
• The American Louis Philippe

 

 

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Man I Don’t Know My Presidents – William Henry Harrison #9

Ladies and Gentlemen…Let’s Welcome…

• Old Tippacanoe (Commemorates his 2 victories over Tecumsah)
• Granny Harrison (At 68 he was then the oldest president to be elected)
• General Mum (Denotes his avoidance to speak on controversial issues)
• Log Cabin Candidate (positioning him as a man of the people, even though he did come from a privileged background)
• Cinncanatus of the West (Comparing him to both the original and Goerge Washington)

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Man, I Don’t Know My Presidents #8 Martin Van Buren

Martin Van Buren (1837-1841)

• Old Kinderhook (from Kinderhook, NY)
• Little Magician
• Machiavellian Belshazzar
• Martin Van Ruin (in office during the economic crisis 0f 1837)
• Petticoat Pet (after his fancy dress)
• The American Tallyrand (comparison to the devious Frenchman) 

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Man I Don’t Know My Presidents #7 Andrew Jackson

Andrew Jackson (1829-1837)

• Old Hickory (During Creek War nothing would keep him from battle, causing his troops to compare him to the hardest of woods)
• King Andy (Far reaching programs seemed to some as excessive use of power)
• Hero of New Orleans (Victory over the British in January 1815)
• Caped Crusader (only President to wear a cape in his Presidential Photograph)
• Action Jackson (this one is a lie but, we wish people called him that)

 BADASS MOMENT #1- In 1806, Jackson met Charles Dickinson in a duel over some remarks Dickinson made about Jackson’s wife. Dickinson got in the first shot, a direct hit square in the chest, two inches from Jackson’s heart. Jackson didn’t even fall down. But returned fire, killing Dickinson and walked away. The bullet was too close to his heart to be removed so it remained lodged in his chest for the rest of his life.

BADASS MOMENT #2 - On January 30 1835, Richard Lawrence fired two pistols at Jackson at point blank range. Both of them failed to fire (Odds 1:125,000). Jackson chased after Lawrence and beat him with his cane. 

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