What Are You Doing History Channel?

What is with all these programs on yeti and chupacabra and aliens and UFOs?

I think I liked you better when you were just WWII and Nazis and Hitler. Maybe.

I’ll even take the “History’s Mysteries: The Wheel” or “Amazing Discoveries:Water” Just make sure you keep getting Edward Herrmann to narrate everything.

Thank you.

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Fringe Season 1 Episode 4, “The Arrival”

  

Let’s start off with what was good;  I didn’t feel there were as many clichés in this episode as there have been.  The other good thing – no trip to Massive Dynamic this week.  Also, we still have the cow.  And, I’m really starting to like the cow.

 

Unfortunately, I’m still not entirely sure what this episode was really about. The A-plot was less a cliché, and more a movie trick: The MacGuffin.  Typically, the MacGuffin is used to move the plot forward, but in this instance, it was used to move the entire A-plot, which really is a sign of lazy writing. [Ed. Note: A MacGuffin is "a plot device which uses an ambiguous object to motivate the pricinple characters".  Think: golden glowing briefcase in Pulp Fiction].

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Lost “There’s No Place Like Home” Season 4 Episode 12

PART 1:

Pentultimate episode of the season. We open on the Oceanic Six being rescued. Jack’s still the leader. Telling them how to deal with the media that awaits.

FLASHCURRENT: The chopper is overheard to be landing over the Orchid, which none of the Losties know is another Dharma station. Jack is trying to be a hero (a-gain) even though he just had surgery.

Turns out Dan Faraday knows what the Orchid station is all about and tells Charlotte, “We have to get off this island tight now!” 

FUTURE: Oceanic has a press conference with The 6; offering a lot of crazy manufactured details. The press is pretty harsh with them. (‘You guys look pretty healthy for being on an island’) It should be a fluff piece! Sayid and Nadia are re-united.

One group if off to the freighter with Jin and Sun and Aaron and some random people. So we know the fate of them is not certain.

FLASHFORWARD: Sun shows up at her father’s company, pregnant and gaining control of her life and her father’s company. She got her money and bought controlling interest in dad’s biz. And she blames dad for Jin’s death.

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Lost “Cabin Fever” Season 4 Episode 11

WE LEARNED:

Horace seems a little creepy, even for a guy who’s been dead 12 years.

So, the Ageless Wonder (Richard Alpert) was around at John Locke’s birth, huh?

Alpert visits John when John’s 6 or7 years old a asks him to think about these things (baseball mitt, old Book of Laws, vial of sand, a compass, a comic book, and a knife) and figure out which of those belong to him already. John chooses the sand, the compass and the knife. Alpert tells him that the knife really doesn’t belong to him, he packs up all his toys and leaves.

We saw the birth of the Man of Science/Man of Faith struggle within Locke.

Sayid’s on the case to rescue some Losties.

Matthew Abbadon was Locke’s physical therapist/orderly and also, the one to inspire John’s Australian walkabout.

Abbadon says that when Locke sees him again (after his outback trip) John will “owe him one.”

So Christian Shephard is a mouthpiece for Jacob?

QUESTIONS & THOUGHTS:

Okay, the doctor’s body washed ashore but in the scenes we watched tonight, Sayid leaves before the doctor’s throat is slit and he’s in a motorboat (rather than the less fast method of travel – waiting fur the current to drag your dead body ashore). So why hadn’t Sayid arrived last episode??

When will Locke run into Abbadon again? And what will Abbadon ask him to do? At this point we gotta believe that as a man of faith, John will do anything this man asks him (in the name of destiny – that fickle bitch).

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Lost Season 4 Ep. 9 The Shape Of Things To Come

STORY SYNOPSIS:

CampLocke: Playing Risk – Australia is the key to whole game. (Referencing Claire? Plane departure?)

Locke gets a phone call – Code 14-J: Ben’s non-plussed. They’re Heeeeere!

Ben wants Locke to survive, “It’s very imporatant that you survive what’s about to happen here John.”  Ben needs John to talk to Jacob. And they both need Hurley to find Jacob’s cabin.

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Lost: Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss.

We all know now that “Meet Kevin Johnson” refers to Micheal. So, let’s review – Micheal was ready to kill 2 strangers (Ana Lucia and Libby) to rescue the man (Ben) he had to, to save his son (Walt).

PLOT:

(Yay, Miles doesn’t have a grenade in his mouth anymore) Locke brings Miles in for a little tete a tete (or tete a lotsa people, whatever). Ben confesses Micheal is Ben’s spy on the boat.

Captain Gault is having a bit of a hard time regulating his staff. Sayid confronts Micheal about why he’s on the boat. He’s here to quote unquote: Die. DuntDuntDuntDunnnn…. 

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Reviews and Thoughts: Lost Season 4 Episode 6, The Other Woman

SYNOPSIS:

Juliet is in her first meeting with Harper Stanhope, the island shrink, in her first week on the island. Complains of feeling isolated.

 

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Lost Season 4 Orchid Station

 Getting excited about tonight’s Lost episode? We know it centers around Juliet and is called “The Other Woman,”so will we be flashing back to her time as an Other? Will Orchid Station or another new station enter into tonight’s eppy?

This is the info on Dharma Initiative’s Station #6, “The Orchid.” How come this dude has a different name everytime? And when did he loose his arm (previously we’ve seen him with a prosthetic but here, he clearly has use of both arms)? Is he still alive?

 He was:

•  Marvin Candle in the Swan Orientation film
• Mark Wickmund in the Pearl Orientation video
• Edgar Halowax here in the Orchid orientation film

Subliminal message “God Loves you as he loved Jacob.”

 It seems this is the station that deals with time travel as two #15 bunnies are accidentally existing simultaneously.

And, apparently the writers/producers have said this orientation video bears some signifigance to Charlotte’s discovery of the skeletal remains of a polar bear in Tunisia. I think we get what they’re saying

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CBS – What Will You Come Up With Next?

In some sort of brilliant marketing idea, two head writers for CBS shows are switching roles and writing for the others’ show. Sounds kinda neat, right?

Some opportunities to open up creatively. Stretch your legs, get out of your rut. But the two shows?

CSI and Two and a Half Men. Huh? Those two shows couldn’t be more different.

We think that you’ll be able to tell when you see the episodes. Expect to see Grissom bedding Catherine Willows. Grissom teasing Nick relentlessly about being a loser that no woman would have, about being broke, about loosing women to other women.  It’s going to be wall-to-wall laugh tracks on CSI!

We also know that Two and Half Men will have to start with an opening song from The Who. I predict it’ll be “Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere” (or possibly “Pinball Wizard”). Also, predicting that Charlie will wake up with a dead body in his bed. Charlie and Alan will proceed to figure out what happened using tackle-boxes filled with flashlights and Q-tips.  Expect many beautiful overhead vista shots from helicopters  everytime we come back from commercial. Maybe the Miniature Killer makes a pitstop in Malibu? Little diorama left on the doorstep of our favorite two and one half men.

NBC will be up next. Expect Marc Cherry and Carlton Cuse to change places and the we”ll see a polar bear chained in the basement of the newest neighbors on Wisteria Lane. No more gossip between the ladies of Desperate Housewives, now they’ll learn useful information that could help their friends, but they won’t share the tiniest morsel, just like on Lost!  No talking to each other.  But we the viewers will learn all about the H-wives via flashbacks and flashforwards.  Maybe another neighborhood will come in to play (The Others)?

Meanwhile on the beaches of Lost, Kate gets locked out of her tent completely naked (“She’s so klutzy and kooky!”). Sun’s baby is really Sayid’s, not Jin’s. Hurley’s coming out of the closet. The Voice Over woman will probably parachute into the neighborhood. And Bernard and Rose? Their secret is going to rock you to your core…

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Big Brother 9 Updates

“People don’t think I’m smart when they meet me. So then when they find out I’m smart, they’re kind of intimidated. Cause I’ll blow you away with my looks and then turn around and blow you away with my brains.” So, she’s gonna blow you a couple of different ways. (Spoiler: She’s not actually too smart).

This was one of the profiles of a Big Brother 9 contestant. I am not going to pretend like I know their names because I don’t. They seem to be of the under-26, vapidly ubiquitous set. So why do you care?

Because this season is bonkers.

There have been two hospitalizations so far (airing tonight! Yay). There is a “straight” guy who’s been in gay porn, there have been strip shows (started by a stripper who loves Jesus but doesn’t see the disconnect there), a naked pool party and the only one over 30? Oh yeah, she’s a former Penthouse pet who lived with Bob Guccione for a decade or so.

The best thing about this group of media-whores? They wait until 9pm when Showtime begins their live coverage to bother with any of their antics. (Almost?) Staging fights (with blows so low – making fun of a girl’s father and his suicide? Are you kidding me? – All of this having known each other for 4 days.) And yet all is forgiven immediately. They’re hyper-aware of being on television, constantly saying “I’m only doing this for Showtime.” Well, bully for Showtime. It’s nice to know that you wouldn’t otherwise degrade yourself, but…for Showtime? Anything!

Savvy? Subtle? Sublime?

Hey, if this doesn’t appeal to you then turn into FOX’s smash hit lie detector game show, “Moment of Truth.” Watch people admit things like, “I feel like I should actually be married to my ex-boyfriend and not this clown sitting with me” or “Yes, I’ve avoided having children with my wife because I have doubts as to whether I’ll be with her in a year” Good times. Now that you’ve admitted that, answer just three more outrageous statements and you might win $100,000 (half of which will be your wife’s in the divorce). Awww, FOX television, ruining the moral fiber of America since 1991.

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Lost Season 4 Episode 4 – Eggtown – Thoughts and Review

Okay. Kate-scentric. We already knew she was one of the Oceanic 6 so, will we find out another?

• Ben rattles Locke by taunting him with things like, ‘You can’t find the cabin. You can’t find Jacob.’
• Kate doesn’t trust Sawyer, he wonders if this is because of “the pregnancy.”
• ForwardKate’s on trial, pleads not guilty and is remanded to jail. But why is she on trial in California? Her lawyer wants her to accept a deal. Or to make the trial about her character rather than her deeds. Kate says no way are you bringing in my son! (Who uses a baby as a witness?)
• Kate visits Miles because she wants to know if everyone else on the planet knows who she is. They do. (Although I’m still confused, as I thought Mr. Abaddon who instigated their mission insisted there were no survivors. I guess maybe he said that, then winked and told the FreighterOthers who to expect to find?). I want to know who this Abaddon is and who he’s working for. Tell Me.
• Jack testifies on Kate’s behalf saying that only 8 survived the crash and that Kate pulled him to shore. “Kate tried to save the other two but…” Kate objects to Jack’s testimony (because he’s committing perjury and possibly thinks the truth might come out eventually?). Prosecutor wants to know if Jack loves Kate, he says “not anymore.
• Sawyer helps Kate get Miles in to see Ben, where Miles demands $3.2 million to report back to the bad guy he works for that Ben is dead. Ben wants to know why $3.2 rather than $3.3 or $3.5 – hey, me too! Was the 3.2 mil a code? Is Miles Ben’s man on the boat?
• Why can’t Kate just tell Locke that she needed Miles to find out if it’s safe for her to leave the island?
• Kate’s mother agrees not to testify against Kate if she can see her grandchild. Kate says no way. What?!? I’d let my mom take a gander at my baby if it got me out of 15 years hard time.
• Daniel has some sort of short term memory problem. Now of course I want to know if this is a recent ailment and if so, what caused it.
• Guess what? Bad news -Sayid and Desmond have not made it to the Freighter. Worse News -The entire helicopter is missing.
• Locke is a little badass. He keeps Miles’ mouth shut by shoving a live hand-grenade in it. After telling him “I am responsible for the well-being of this island.”
• Kate gets a deal, 10 years probation (which Kate seemed to want?). So FutureKate won’t be returning to the island anytime soon.
• The baby is…Aaron! Who is now 2 or 3 years old!! Does that make him one of the Oceanic 6? He wasn’t technically on the manifest.
• Kate’s claiming the baby’s hers. Although, the baby is too old, if he’s 3 and they’ve been on the island for 4 months, no one around her is good at math. I think it’s the devilish space/time continum at work.
• Why does Jack not want to see Aaron? Well, until he does, there will be no Jack and Kate time.
• Didn’t the psychic Claire visited in Australia tell her that raising the baby herself was an imperative? Do we have to assume that Claire is dead? I at least want to hope that she’s alive on the island but can’t leave for some reason.

Oooooh, next week – Desmond-centric. Yay.

I really liked this episode, What’d you think?

I am also really liking Jeremy Davies as Daniel Farady. Did anyone else see him in Rescue Dawn? Craaaazy.

Also wanted to add that everyone has said that “Eggtown” refers to pregnancy and the last of the eggs from the last of the chickens but don’t forget that an Eggtown was shorthand for a town with no money. Meaning that traveling salesmen would refer to it that way, “Oh, don’t bother with Williamsburg, it’s an eggtown” – they didn’t have money or anything of real value to barter with. An egg is the worst thing; it has a short shelf life, doesn’t travel well – so fairly useless to the salesman.

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Lost – Thoughts and More Season 4

Am I the only one who’s not going to be surprised if someone on the Freighter is named Nikki Tesla at this point? Or if we have some grand allusions to the Philadelphia Experiment (wherein it’s supposedly possibly to bend light around an object making it unobservable to the naked eye)?

We know the guy on the Freighter is named George Minkowski (Hermann Minkowski the mathematician who realized Einstein’s theory of relativity could best be understood in four dimensional space or what has since been known as Minkowski spacetime)!

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Survivor: Micronesia. Fans Vs. Favorites

In this writer-striken season of pablum (Cashmere Mafia. – It’s Sex and the City but with four Miranda’s!), one tends to be more excited by things than normal.

Are you excited about Survivor?

In truth, it should be called Fans Vs. Contestants.

I haven’t watched every season of Survivor but I am pop culturally aware of almost all the past seasons. I don’t recognize half these people. More truthfully, it could be titled: Fans Vs. People-Who-Don’t-Have-Anything- Better-To-Do-And-Who-Are-Looking-to-Extend-Their-15-Minutes-of-Fame.

In reading more about this season it seems that perennial blow-hard/host Jeff Probst has a long standing beef with Johnny Fairplay (Fairplay insulted his brother). Probst says about Fairplay, “I feel like I can eat his lunch all day every day and pack it for him and steal it again.”

Ooooh. My favorite kind of trash talk. The delicious kind.

Will you watch?

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