Archive for December, 2007

We’ve all heard the rumors of the Texas sized (or twice the size of Texas, depending on who’s reportage you’re listening to) pile of trash floating in the Pacific. The scuttlebutt is that it is hanging out somewhere between San Francisco and Hawaii; How come there are no pictures of it? I would think it would be visible from some satellite. Or that Google Earth would be able to come up with something to slake the public’s thirst for knowledge.

(EDIT: See link below).

It is rumored to be between three feet and three or four hundred feet thick in different areas. Is all this submerged underwater? Is there no bit of it popping it’s little head though the surface of the,  sea?

And don’t think I don’t appreciate the fact that no matter how big it is, the pile of crap is always comparable to Texas. Your constant subliminal linking of the two is not lost on me.

Check it out!

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Take a look at this image (taglines, below).  This is all of the taglines we came up with for the Audi pitch when I worked at McKinney.  Well, we didn’t win.  Maybe we needed a few more tagline ideas?


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Welcome to the pinnacle of guitar nerd-dom.  The following is a list of every guitar I have ever owned (off the top of my head, I may be missing a few).  Trust me, I could go in to a lot more detail, but I’m afraid I’d be creating a black hole in the web with my super-concentrated geekness.  Enjoy.

  1. 1964 Fender Jazzmaster– Bought this from a classified ad on AOL (pre-eBay days) for about $450.  The finish was stripped and it had a brushed-on clear finish.  Everything else was original including the tortoise pickguard, pickups and slab rosewood fretboard.  I had the body refin’d to Burgundy Mist, a Fender Custom Color, and added a repro greenish-white pickguard.  I think I sold this for about a grand after a year.


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My sister and my dad have an opportunity to use words like kludge (pronounced: ‘klooge’) in thier workaday world. They say things like, “I don’t have enough disc space for that,” when referring to their personal free time. Ahem. Geek-y!

I find occasion to use the words ‘tontine’ and ‘antepentultimate’ – because I sit around talking about television (an episode of MASH (or The Simpsons) and reality tv, respectively).

So, the question arises, Who’s the bigger loser?

A: I guess that would default to me. At least theirs is an employable nerdiness!

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Uh, Dad? This One’s for You.

A pint of beer is better for you after a workout than water, say scientists

Yes. If you wait long enough scientists will support any cockamamie theory you want them to.

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We’re not really breaking new ground here but in case you haven’t seen the internet sensation that is LolCats, there are pleny of sites devoted to it. Hey, deep down people dothink cats are cute. And, we do have a base need to anthropomorphize the animals around us. So these sites do satisfy a deep craving.

Seriously, this kind of thing would normally be the exact kind of thing I hate. But I have laughed. You should laugh too.


Apparently these memes are so popular, you can still register to attend the first ever ROFLCon in April at Harvard. The LOLCats, LOLCode, LOLSecretz, Chuck Norris Facts and Paperclip to House Guy will all be in attendance. Don’t miss your opportunity to be a part of history.

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Throughout the year, the AV Club keeps track of some of the dumbest band names they come across and at the end of the year they let us in on what made the rather puerile list.

Some of my favorites include:

Garrison Killer. – It’s a play on a name that mostly your grandparents will recognize. Not the way to go.

Malice in Wonderland. – I’m pretty sure I came up with that one. In first grade.

Penguins with Shotguns. – Well, last year was the year of the penguin, I guess they thought they would capitalize on that.

I Sank Molly Brown. –  The girl is unsinkable, but this name is not.

ButtStomach. – I’m sure it refers to a trick they perform on stage. Otherwise, their combined age best not be over 45.

The House that Gloria Vanderbilt. – We all get it. You’re cute. But no one in your target market knows who Gloria Vanderbilt is, not even that she is Anderson Cooper’s mom. No one. (Hint: The house is made of snugly fitting denim).

Wookie Hangover. – Alright, I see your thinking…you love Star wars and you just discovered drinking. Okay.  Keep trying.

The Cornish Gay Men– You’re really punny. But, I bet you’re not really gay.  (Note: This may have an entirely different meaning in Cockney).

BiFurious – I wish it ended with, “:The Reckoning.” Regardless, they’re probably twice as furious.

General Patton and his Privates. – Too quickly rejected was the original: “Old Blood and Guts and His Nuts”

The Pussy Pirates. – (First line of their bio: “First off, we’re an ideas band. I think we proved that with Fuck Mountain.”)  Wow.  Only an ideas band would “concept” such a lame name.  It’s got a little Pirates of the Carribean, plus a bit of “down-there” humor from the playground set.  I hope the first song is called Fart Police.  Nope.

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