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Archive for February 26th, 2008

“People don’t think I’m smart when they meet me. So then when they find out I’m smart, they’re kind of intimidated. Cause I’ll blow you away with my looks and then turn around and blow you away with my brains.” So, she’s gonna blow you a couple of different ways. (Spoiler: She’s not actually too smart).

This was one of the profiles of a Big Brother 9 contestant. I am not going to pretend like I know their names because I don’t. They seem to be of the under-26, vapidly ubiquitous set. So why do you care?

Because this season is bonkers.

There have been two hospitalizations so far (airing tonight! Yay). There is a “straight” guy who’s been in gay porn, there have been strip shows (started by a stripper who loves Jesus but doesn’t see the disconnect there), a naked pool party and the only one over 30? Oh yeah, she’s a former Penthouse pet who lived with Bob Guccione for a decade or so.

The best thing about this group of media-whores? They wait until 9pm when Showtime begins their live coverage to bother with any of their antics. (Almost?) Staging fights (with blows so low – making fun of a girl’s father and his suicide? Are you kidding me? – All of this having known each other for 4 days.) And yet all is forgiven immediately. They’re hyper-aware of being on television, constantly saying “I’m only doing this for Showtime.” Well, bully for Showtime. It’s nice to know that you wouldn’t otherwise degrade yourself, but…for Showtime? Anything!

Savvy? Subtle? Sublime?

truth.jpg

Hey, if this doesn’t appeal to you then turn into FOX’s smash hit lie detector game show, “Moment of Truth.” Watch people admit things like, “I feel like I should actually be married to my ex-boyfriend and not this clown sitting with me” or “Yes, I’ve avoided having children with my wife because I have doubts as to whether I’ll be with her in a year” Good times. Now that you’ve admitted that, answer just three more outrageous statements and you might win $100,000 (half of which will be your wife’s in the divorce). Awww, FOX television, ruining the moral fiber of America since 1991.

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A freshly washed car. 

You forget what a difference it makes. It looks all shiny and brand spankin’ again!

All of a sudden you’re a spoiled princess.

(PS – Raleigh, you probably don’t remember this feeling. That’s okay, I’m sure you will be allowed to wash cars and/or bathe in the next couple of years).

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