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Archive for April, 2008

Awww. A favorite of ours. Fertile ground in a bygone era. I love the smell of racism in the morning.

 

We acknowledge Indigenous Americans as having a rich full history. We acknowledge that they have their own culture and heritage, customs and traditions. But mostly we just remember that they used to scalp people. Everyone remembers that.

So, we’ll use our shared knowledge to sell…hairbrushes!  But of course.

Where our knowledge is a little thin is in the world of advertising, and that’s why we call in THE expert…

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Here’s a little tip: If you leave the television on, do not be surprised if while you’re bringing in groceries you hear this:

“So I left and then went outside and politely took his windshield out.”

(Someone named “Judge Alex”) incredulously asks, “You are saying you “politely” bashed in his windshield with a baseball bat?”

“Yes sir. That is what I did.”

Surprisingly enough, I did not wait around to find out exactly how one completes that task politely.  But I saw the young lady who claimed to do just that, and if anyone can do it – it’s the kind of gal who decides to wear a tube top to court.

Court that is nationally televised.

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Millard Fillmore

July 1850- March 1853

  • The Accidental President
  • Wool-Carder-President
  • The American Louis Philippe

 

 

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STORY SYNOPSIS:

CampLocke: Playing Risk – Australia is the key to whole game. (Referencing Claire? Plane departure?)

Locke gets a phone call – Code 14-J: Ben’s non-plussed. They’re Heeeeere!

Ben wants Locke to survive, “It’s very imporatant that you survive what’s about to happen here John.”  Ben needs John to talk to Jacob. And they both need Hurley to find Jacob’s cabin.

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This site gives you some examples of the engravings they’ve done inside people’s wedding bands. Some very tender, heartfelt and romantic. Others – probably special in their own way. And some almost seem passive aggressive (but in the way that’s cute at first but 6 years later, more of the aggressive starts to shine through)

  • You wore me down – Not even an attempt at sweetness or romance, just a, “Fine, you win.”
  • Tricky little love machine – Maybe a step too far.  You could have just put “You are a tough one to satisfy in the sack, but we worked at it and finally got the job done.”  But that would’ve had to have been a pretty large ring.
  • Better Than Ice Cream – But that inscription? Worse than a trip to the dentist.
  • You’re an amazing sales rep – Just bad, even if it’s a lame joke about selling her on you; worse if you really were ‘Sales Rep of the Month.’
  • Happy Now? Good. – See “You wore me down.”
  • Remember, I’m a Wyoming Redneck – Hide your sheep.
  • Amateurs hope, professionals work. – This guy must work at the company that makes those horrible inspirational posters that go in offices, and should be shot.
  • Race you to the shower – Slightly better than “Get me a beer. I’ll time you.”

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After having so much fun with my Project Ludwig Snare Drum, I decided I needed another project…

Are you familiar with the Rogers Dyna-Sonic snare drum?  If not, you should be.  They were once called “The Cadillac of snare drums,” and they featured some of the most unique innovations.  And I just bought one off of some StonerDude down in Kyle, Texas.

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So, tough sell…trying to make a language course into a sexy, interesting or otherwise note-worthy advert.

Hu-zzah! Learn On The Go language courses.

Body copy reads:

“They Used to Sacrifice People Here – If they start old habits, wouldn’t you like to talk them out of it?”

If this isn’t exactly racist, then at the very least it’s xenophobic. I’m not sure about the origins of this ad but I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if it were British. It smacks of their imperialistic disdain for the natives. Tut, Tut.

The alarms sounds (a scantily clad native bellows on his conch shell (Ahh-OOO-gah!)) beckoning to him and out from his hut stumbles… DOC AD!

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