Archive for April 16th, 2008

Crayola Big Box of 64 (Now With Built in Crayon Sharpener!) turns the Big 5-0 this week. (Thank God Crayola’s over it’s mid-life crisis. But I’m glad it kept the convertible top)!

I’ve always appreciated the liberty Crayola has taken with their color names over the years. As they currently stand right now, they have some not-so-easily identifiable colors such as:

  • Jazzberrry jam– Ohhh! The insatiable life-quest of wanting that first jazzberry of spring. Ahh, the disappointment.
  • timberwolf – A newly discovered gray too; Amazing as black and white are not even in the mix anymore
  • outer space – In space, nobody can hear you scream… when you color outside the lines.
  • bittersweet – Really just waxy Nestle’s chocolate chips melted and reformed as delicious crayons, or possibly the color of your soul after 20 years in middle-management and your first divorce.
  • beaver– ummm…. 
  • manatee– Formerly sea cow, but that was clearly sizeist (and also still ambiguous).

For the big birthday bash they let 20,000 kids vote for eight special edition color names. I’ll give you a dollar if you can name the hue that is “Awesome” or “Bear Hug” or “Best Friends” (I know, I know, one of your “Best Friends” is a black crayon).

Quick question, do kids today even use crayons anymore?  Or do they simply Google a coloring program, download it, and set the software to automatically colorize the drawing – all while texting their fellow second graders and playing Wii?

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I am not quite sure… is there a subliminal entendre somewhere in this ad? You get a fat knuckle sandwich if you find it! Excuse me but it seems she is opening her mouth to drink in the awful stench of a penny cigar? That can’t possibly be right!

















Bottomline: Women find a cigarello the epitome of C-L-A-S-S. – Or is it K-L-A-S-S? Doesn’t matter.

And men, is there anything sexier than a women who shadows you everywhere you go? “Where are you going now? Don’t leave. Let me come too.” Ugh. Women.

Let’s ring up a man who knows the truth…



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