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Posts Tagged ‘Austin’

Today, Tacos. Tomorrow, The World.

tacoshell

You no longer have to load your bountiful taco shells lying down on their sides. They will now stand up to your gluttonous, spiced meat concoction.

But this doesn’t speak to my needs. I will only be satisfied when Old El Paso makes a shell with a reinforced bottom because I am tired of taking one bite and having the whole thing blow-out. If I wanted sour cream and grease on my shirt, I would gently daub it on there myself, thank you very much.

Give me the Stand ‘n Stuff Double Bottome Shell.

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We here in Austin are lucky enough to have access to a unique salad dressing.

Unique in the fact that it’s local but, unfortunately, it is marketed in the absolute wrong way.

Here’s what some of our readers have to say:

  • “Should be called ‘Lower Colon Decimator’.”
  • “If Jackson Pollack worked in fecal matter, he’d have a sure fire hit on his hands.”
  • “When you want an excuse to leave a meeting – and wipe from ankles to forehead, look no further!”
  • “If you’ve been waiting for that really good excuse to thoroughly clean your toilet, THIS IS IT!
  • “Ana’s and Bulimics of the world: REJOICE! No more down time waiting for a laxative to kick in!”
  • “Should be packaged with a four pack of Charmin!”
  • “Tastes Great – Less Filling.”
If they only marketed this as super-direct way to empty your bowels, they’d be rolling in the dough (or something). No laxative, no metamucil…one teaspoon of this and I guarantee you’re in the bathroom within 12 minutes! – It doesn’t matter your constitution!
Bravo, Mr. Oka, Bravo!
If only I had this information days ago – –¬†Oh, well. Next time, then.

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