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Posts Tagged ‘funny’

I just realized that my dog is an awesome impressionist. Like Rich Little in his prime, circa 1988, still doing a bang-up aping of Nixon.

Right now Dog Dash can do like 2 different slamdunk, knock it out of the park impressions.

1.  He can contort his body in such a way that he looks exactly  like a dead puppy. And…

2.  He does an outstanding Marlon Brando (from the Godfather) impression when he puts an ice cube in his mouth sideways .

And, I almost forgot, #3. – Dash can turn in a very solid Drowned Rat after his bath.

PS – He also does a great Nicholson and Christopher Walken – but I mean, c’mon…everybody can do those. They don’t even count.

Check back later, we’re trying to teach him an Edward G. Robinson. We’ll see how he takes to it.

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You Caption It…

“No need to put your arm out Katie, your outfit will repel all the men on its own.”

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Bretislav hated his playpen for years, but when he eventually medalled in The Robot in the 2020 Olympics, he finally forgave his parents.

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 They say a picture is worth a thousand words. 

The first 2 sentences of the copy read:

Though she was a tiger lady, our hero didn’t have to fire a shot to floor her.  After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her.

It starts off sexist and then… goes on to tell you the percentage of dacron to polyester!

darconleggs.jpg

It is a good way to sell pants.

We’ve learned that with these slacks, you will dominate your woman.

Women are servile in general. You just have to know how to handle them. If you need tips, then you can learn how to control them by wearing these pants.

And, if it takes a pair of pants..well, then, get those pants, ‘ya wussy. 

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On the Jimmy Kimmel show following the Oscars, Jimmy answered the Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video with a little video of his own with…Ben Affleck, of course!

The only startling thing about this video is who Jimmy got to be in it. Some of these people probably haven’t even been on his show! But we have Brad Pitt fulfilling every woman’s fantasy and showing up as a delivery guy and Harrison Ford pulling up next to the happy couple in his convertible to blow kisses (vaguely reminiscent of American Graffiti).

And then the song breaks into a ‘We Are the World’ type anthem complete with Joan Jett, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Perry Ferrell, Macy Grey, Benji and Joel Madden, Josh Groban, Huey Lewis, Lance Bass, Pete Wentz, Cameron Diaz, McLovin (backed by a gospel choir), and Rebecca Romijn. 

(more…)

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