Posts Tagged ‘James Spader’

You know how, like, when you were little and you really desperately wanted a pony? And how it was like probably the only thing in the whole world that would make you really, really, really happy? And, maybe you didn’t even have to own it outright, but you would just feed it and groom it and ride it? Spend some QT together, whispering your pre-adolescent secrets into its nice sturdy and ever-astute ears. And then, twenty years later you realized that right next door to your house was a large stable and paddock with a huge sign that said, “Free ponies for particularly precocious girls who have already mastered the hoppy.”

You just can’t believe it was right under your nose all along.

It’s just the way the world works sometimes, no? I had that feeling upon discovering the trailer for a little movie called “Tuff Turf.” Everything about this movie looks like it was designed for me.

Some thoughts:

  • It’s Tuff. The title tells you straight up.
  • It stars James Spader and Robert Downey, jr (which every single movie made in 1985 should have – they would have killed it in The Color Purple)
  • Formerly preppy Spader is caught up with street gangs…
  • And those street gangs might enjoy a good “dance battle!” 
  • They’ve only got a third rate voice over artist for the trailer – not a good sign.
  • No one in my high school actually wore the head to toe skin tight outfits.
  • No one in my high school actually did gymnastic flip/kicks across the cafeteria ending in a  stage lift.
  • How Tuff can one really be on a ten speed. Not rad.
  • I think it is positioning itself as a ‘Grease’ meets ‘Footloose’ movie.
  • Guarentee: Someone is getting “iced” by movie’s end. (That’s a threat AND a promise).

I’m not sure how I missed it. I’m not sure how it didn’t at least make it on re-runs on basic cable. But I am sure that Mr. Netflix will let me borrow it and it may just make it onto the queue.

What is not to love about this trailer? Don’t lie to me. You starting humming along to the “Tuff Turf” groove by the end, right? Right? And, YES, Spader does “sing” a power ballad in the middle of the movie.

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